This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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