Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
