Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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