come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
