Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The uberlube is also flammable
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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