Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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