just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
