Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
