how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
