it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
