I can't watch pbs sober anymore
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
