FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
