You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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