just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
