I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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