I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I could fuck to npr.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
This toilet bowl is my home.
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