It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
