Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
