The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize