I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
