u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
