I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize