when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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