They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
