it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
