i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize