The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We're too hungover to prance.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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