Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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