I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
