She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My vagina just recognized that song.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize