What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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