i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Randomize
