We're like a lot better than the average bears
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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