you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
