he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
