eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
