So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
