$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
