Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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