I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
