i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
