Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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