I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
be right there i have to get my cape
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
