Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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