You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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