i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
