How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
