I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
