you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
