While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
