Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
