dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
