No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
