OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
