Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
