How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
