Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
