I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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