I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
